Seeing through the smoke

    Three decades of poems by Ernest Lowe

    The Nineties                 go to The Voices of Children
     

    Paradise

    Where is Paradise?

    Is it here
        in the face of a Spanish woman
      enjoying each phrase
                 of the deep song of pain
       she sings?
    Here in an electronic eternity
        revealed through my VCR?

    Ay! just clap
              clapping now
          in her gypsy family circle,
       smiles and olés celebrating
    the rhythmic art of our hands.

    Where is Paradise?

      Is it here
           in my heart, eyes and ears?
               In the resonance my mind finds
          with La Niña de las Peñas
          Pastora Pavanne
       who 35 years ago
           began to teach me
              the joy of life well sung.

      She sang during the Spanish civil war
              . . . especially then.

    Where is Paradise?
                Is it really at the end of history
         outside of life on this Earth?

              May 4, 1990
     

    Complexity on Bloor Street

    On a trip between trips
                       to Arcosanti
       a journey of synergy
         we walk along Bloor Street
                warm June evenings
      savoring the urban effect.

    Costumed Morris dancers
        waving white kerchiefs in the air
           before the Future Bakery
      and its Ukranian sidewalk cafe.

    A pattering artist
           peddling his micro-murals --
      "They have magnetic personalities
          to stick to your fridge."

    A Jamaican blowing blues on his harmonica
        before the ice cream shop
               in a first floor apartment.

    A little bent woman
           straight out of an old English cottage
        exploring trash cans in an alley.

    Peruvians in the door of the Longhouse --
      far from the blackness
             of the Shining Path --
        smiling their dancing plaintive music.

    And the Audience!
       Diverse colors and cultures,
            angles of view
        alternative realities
              and true delusions
       strolling together
           interfolding
     enjoying
       this intense complexity
         swirling past
            the Future Bakery.

        Toronto, June 1990
     

    The Alba Madonna

    I sit meditating
      before the Adoration of the Magi --
    Fra Angelico and Fra Filipo Lippi
       together captured this joy
                         of Christ's birth
         in a wonder filled circle.
    An echo of hands rise up in Hallelujah
          here
                    . . . and here
         . . . and here
                 in the crowd of shepherds.
    Blacksmiths shoe the Magi's horses.
         Children dance on a wall
              to better view the new child.

    I sense another, also unable to break away,
       from this vision of the brothers.
          We exchange glances but remain silent.

    Galleries later I am caught by the same scene,
      this time by Botticelli --
           Magi bowing to Child and Virgin
       amidst Classical ruins.
        "Look, the Magi are the three ages of Man.
           This one mature
                         . . . him aged
        . . . and here the young one."

    It is my companion of the first Adoration,
       speaking a gentle brogue.
           We explore together, quietly noting
                              Joseph's sweet smile,
        a Magi's horse rearing with excitement.
    I say, "Isn't this human nature too,
                  not just Auschwitz?"
    He is Father Sean from Ireland,
       here on a Sabbatical of prayer and study.
    I walk on alone.

    Then another painting glows so intensely
           I cannot break away --
    Dosso Dossi's Aeneas and Achates on the Shore of Libya.
    The crowd of Trojan sailors,
        two tall trees,
                     and the curving shore
            all an Impressionist dazzle,
       with the two heroes alone
            still living in Renaissance clarity.
    And again Father Sean stands besides me.

       "Father, I am so baffled by evil!"
    My hand sweeps around the bright scene.
          "How, when we have such beauty in us,
             how do we choose
                      to do so much evil?"

    "That's a hard one, son.
        St. Augustine wrestled with your question.
       His answer,
             Evil is a state of deprivation.
          You can only understand it
        in the context of the good.
                           It can't stand alone."

    Then I come finally to Rafaello's Alba Madonna,
                   again a circle,
          a painting I thought I knew well.
    The Christ Child's translucent nakedness
        reclines against Mary's thigh,
           holding a toy in his right hand.
    His mother gazes serenely at the toy.
          Young John the Baptist,
                 clad already in animal skins,
      looks up at the toy.
    They sit upon wildflowers.
                 Orchards and fields,
            farmhouses and forested hills
      stretch off behind the three.

    The Christ Child
            is total peace
               flowing
                     in a circle
        of total peace
           and the toy He holds
                     is
                  the crucifix.

    July 1991, at the National Gallery

    Theodore on the porch of the National Gallery

    Forty-five minutes to wait for Allen --
     who never did plant trees for the White House --
       sitting on a bus stop bench facing Constitution.
    Homeless black guy approaches and I stand.
     "Don b'fray."
       Face of a monster! Fire? Nam?
       One eye gone.
        Mouth so burnt
      his words are a puzzling blur.
    "I'm not afraid. Here, Sir."
     I hand him a ten
        He holds it up to his one dim eye
      and smiles.

    We shake hands.
        "Hello, I'm Ernie."
     "Mm Thrrrrr."
        "Pleased to meet you. Say it again, your name?"
              "Amm Thdrrrr."
              "Theodore?"
              "Ssss, Thdrrr."

    Rain starts falling
       so I move to the porch of the National Gallery.
     "Don' bfray!!"
    "I'm not afraid. Just wet."
        He offers me his bottle
    and tells me his story
     on the porch of the Gallery.
    I understand one word in ten,
        looking into his one dim eye,
               asking him to say it again
          and again.

    From time to time
           fear does flit through my mind.
       I might misunderstand
             say the wrong thing to him
         trigger an attack.
    I tell him my story
         to relax from the stress
      of listening to words from a ruined mouth
            I can hardly understand.

    Then he seems to tell me about
     a man and a lie.
       I look at the valleys down his face
          and hear about a man and a bottle of lye.
    He offers me his bottle.
    Little white flecks of spit hit my blazer.
          I move to the side, out of range,
      and tell him how Ely, my bro in Atlanta
             was a freedom fighter in the Sixties,
       freedom fighter even now.
          Theodore points to his chest,
               "Freem fire too."

    He waits with me, telling his story.
          I understand one word in ten,
        and look into his one dim eye
           wondering when was the last time
      anyone had looked into his face
     or listened to his words.
    Allen's car pulls up and we shake.
        Theodore holds on tight to my hand,
      telling me one more story.
     I pull loose.
        He offers me his bottle.

             June 8, 1992
     

    Jellies

    "This existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds.
    To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at
     the movements of a dance."
                          The Buddha, as quoted by Sogyal Rinpoche

    Tiny clear Crystal Jellies,
     Purple-striped Jellies
       moving with slow, undulating grace
      through bands of light and darkness
    and outside the glass, a young couple,
     faces close, share this dance.

    Comb Jellies, delicate diamond spheres,
     release their long fronds
         to gather plankton.
      An older woman remarks
             to no one in particular,
     "That's so amazing!
             You know, they have no brains, no hearts."
    I think, her life too, from egg to grave,
             would move with such grace
         if I had eyes of long vision.

    Sea Nettles,
           saffron diaphragms, pulsing -
     plumes and threads
         swirling through the water
      as they slowly descend.
    A father tell his young kids
         about the painful stings
           of these jewels,
      but the youngest
        dances smiling in a circle,
     her coat overhead as a mantle
          fingers undulating in the air,
          quietly singing,
     "I'm a jelly baby.
          "I'm a jelly baby."

     Grace & Ernest Lowe May 13, 1993 at the Monterey Aquarium
     

    Seeing through the smoke

    Monday morning Martha called:
       "Turn on CNN. They're burning Mt. Carmel!"
    Winds swept the flames through the gray compound in twenty minutes,
                tanks circled the firestorm as 17 children and 60 adults --
                             some believing they were with the Second Coming --
         burnt in a manmade hell.

    The smoke from their bodies filled my mind all week --
            my metaphor for the time:
                  craziness governed by insane logic.
    The smoke from Mt. Carmel swirls into the smoke from Sarajevo,
                                     Kabul, Malaysian rain forests . . .
                   Winds of breakdown sweep the flames around our blue Earth.

    I spiraled down out of creativity and compassion --
                                      the only anchors for my sanity --
          down into the infected space in my inner ear
                  where fifty-six years ago I lived in fear and suffering,
             believing this pain will never end,
                     believing I can do nothing to stop this pain.

    Then I slowly staggered back up the steep slope of awareness
                speaking to students on Earth Day
          with a ten inch redwood seedling as
                                          my metaphor for the time --
                                                 a time stretching forward one hundred generations,
                 the life span of this little plant
                                 with light green new needles bursting forth,
                       this little plant that could still be living in Thirty-nine ninety-three
         if we learn again how to live in Nineteen ninety-three.

    After the talk I bought a honeycomb.
                       Grace and I read Rumi, Li Po, Rilke . . .
           And finally I remembered
                               I am a poet who writes to gain vision,
                  eyes clear enough to see through
    the smoke of my time.

      April 26, 1993
     

    Dance all night, trouble-maker

    My dad, Virgil, died of lung cancer in 1973.
    My mom, Esther, died of pancreatic cancer in 1982.
      Now Laurence, you bastard,
     you come at me with a cancer
       they haven't even identified yet.
    Yeah, so you hung out with the Monkey-wrench gang,
     laying plans to blow up the dam across Glenn Canyon.
    Yeah, so you were headed out to dance all night
      when I called to be compassionate last Saturday.
     I know you're not any where near finished
       with the trouble you've set out to make.

    But we talked last night and you sounded tired and scared
     and I kept going around being silent,
           my tongue tied up with other cancers I've lived with
              and they died from.
    Damn it, cyberbro, look at all the trouble you're kicking up
       for this poet with his loaded baggage.
    I'm afraid my healing for you isn't getting out of the gate,
     so I've invited Herman, an avatar in Colorado, to pray for you
          and Peter and Trudy in Portland
          to work in the higher reaches of groupware
    and Ed here in Berkeley --
     who once set out to heal the holocaust and make peace in Israel --
         I know he's got room in his heart,
      even though it just attacked him.

    "Om Laurence is healing Om", is spinning around
     two hundred and sixteen thousand times an hour
            on the prayer wheel of my hard disk.
       Shit, man, I'm even planting some redwoods
                 so the wind in their needles can sing you well.
    I know you're not any where near finished
     with the trouble we've set out to make.
        You ready for some new assignments, Coyote?

              February 16, 1993

    The next January Coyote was howling at the moon and still dancing all night!

    He was a down-winder, growing up under radiation plumes from the Nevada weapons test site and from the Hanford and Idaho reactors' "experimental" releases.

    The cancers returned in multiple sites late in 1995. Even then, in one period of remission he was roller-blading five miles a day.

    Laurence Evans died in March, 1996.

    Coyote lives!
     

     

    Between coyote's jaws

    Poking through dry coyote shit on the desert with you
     pulling out the bones of his prey . . .
         Coyote leaped and crunched
         and a desert rat's life was complete
      between his jaws.

    But we squatted there
     reflecting upon his life and his bones
      and here they show up again
         complete but continuing on
       in a poem to a coyote
         who's struggling to feel his life complete.

    Coyote leaped and crunched
     your life there
      complete
         between your jaws.

          March 6, 1996

    p.s. I've heard that completion and death are two very different things,
           especially for coyotes.
     
     

    Ruby My Dear

    Birch bark
     shining white
        against the dark night.
    Sesshu . . . Sesshon
    Tales well told
     passed hand to hand
        warmed this heart
        healed
             it’s world around hurting.
    Sesshu . . . Sesshon
    Monk
     in an airport
        dancing in circles
        his black fingers playing blues
            in the air.
    Sesshu . . . Sesshon

     March 12, 1994
     

    Coming home from Brownsville

    A long dry patch it’s been,
    months with no poems,
    just industrial prose
    trying to green a world
    that may be dying
    (dying for humans that is,
    Gaia will survive us.).
    Below me, west of Odessa,
    mile after mile of oil well drill sites
    weirdly strung on straight dirt roads,
    a giant’s grid upon the land.
    Here’s a milky green lake,
    some sink hole for the wastes.

    Coming home from Brownsville.
    Talked with good souls
    trying to clean up the border:
    Jackie and Marie, weaving a web of people.
    Miguel, a young Mexican architect,
    his padre, Antonio, thrilled to think
    the factories they design
    could live and breath with the Earth,
    not against it.

    Will it happen?

    Now the pilot says we’re going over Almagordo,
    White Sands where we first tested the bomb,
    tested without knowing for sure
    how far the chain reaction would go.

    Coming home from Brownsville.
    Wandered through a remnant yesterday,
    thirty-two acres de boscaje con las palmas,
    Sabal Palms, Texas Ebony, healing David’s Milkberry,
    Armadillo, Jaguarundi, Chachalaca . . .
    hundreds of beings who once
    lived the banks of the Rio, mile after mile.
    Wind was blowing hard above,
    palm fronds whirring and clacking.
    On the ground the forest so thick
    there was barely a breeze.
    “. . . all similar areas along the river
    have been cleared for agricultural use.”

    There, in that tiny fragment,
    I felt the rip in wholeness we made,
    I felt the good souls patiently preserving,
    restoring, extending this precious patch of life.

    Coming home from Brownsville.
    We fly over the foothills east of Sacramento.
    Everett Butts lives there
    and back home I find he said,
    “What nature is doing on its own I’m doing with it.
    I tell people I have an affair with the land going here.
    It’s damned important to me.
    It’s part of my substance,
    my living and breathing.
    What I feel here is the earth
    and what flies and walks over it
    and burrows under it.
    The more I see and feel and understand,
    the more I like it.?”

    (I quote Everett Butts from Louise Lacy's excellent newsletter, Growing Native. LadyLFAB@earthlink.net )

      February 4, 1995
     

    Connections

    She sees the connections
     and because she sees, she is the connections.
    Praises and blessings must be buried
        somewhere deep in there,
         though the story knits together so much
           I cannot stop hating.

    She sees the connections . . .
     Cyanide stuns rare fish
         so nouveau riche Red Guard industrialists
        can dine on the lips of the fish (200 bucks a plate).
    Their factories are poisoning air, land, and sea.
    The reefs of the Philippines and Indonesia are mostly dead.

    And because she sees, she is the connections.
     Atmosphere and oceans are warming.
        Red tides, cholera, malaria, aids, ebola . . .
        A record year for hurricanes.
    The futures markets discount all futures.
    Derivatives drive all values in all markets.
         Gene's angel gives his investors
      fifty per cent return each year,
        gambling in a bubble of money,
        a global bubble.

    She sees the connections.
        Praises and blessings must be buried
      somewhere deep in there.

    Our deck is green with Tanbark Oaks, Madrone, Manzanitas,
        Redwoods, Weeping Needle Pines . . .
        all in their pots, depending for now upon me
     to water them and to find a piece of land to reach roots down.
    Some may live for centuries.
        Seeds of Mariposa Lily, Fritillaria, Trillium, and Brodaiea
      are sprouting.
        Five, six, seven years before they'll bloom.

    Because she sees, she is the connections.

      November 5, 1995
     

    In our canyon

    Here in our canyon
    first light shows through high fog.
    The birds' dawn chorus
    ripples and eddies through
    Redwoods, Monterey Pines, Madrones, and Eucalyptus.
    Martha tells me the singers include Morning Doves
    Great Horned Owls, Spotted Towhees,
    Stellar Jays, Western Fly Catchers . . . and more.

    Out back Coyote's Grove,
    thanks to El Niño's double dose,
    has grown to twenty feet.
    (1993 when he first said "cancer"
    and I planted those Redwoods
    for him in the yellow clay
    . . . and in a poem.)

    Rattlesnake Grass circles Sheenas's gravestone,
    a stepping stone,
    and the Monkeyflowers
    white, orange and deep brick red
    are showing their faces
    next to Coyote's Grove,
    his last erection!

    June 4, 1998

     

    The voices of children

    Beginning in the summer of 1998 I started letting myself write poems in the voices of children, some that I know, some that I simply imagine. Here are a few of these poems.

    Like only a woman
    Fourteen years old in South Central

    Don't come at me
    with your jiveass social worker
        "child mother" bullshit.

    That pain cut through me
                sharp as any woman feels.

    I cried joy
    like any woman cries
       when they put Msthune
                    on my breast.

    I love my babe,
    like only a woman
             can love.

     
     

    I'll Grow You Some Monkeys
    Seven years old in San Pablo, California

    I planted a pinch of seeds like fine pepper last week
    I watered them and now look, look!
    There's teeny dots of green all over the peaty top
    hundreds of them!

    I'm growing monkey flowers
    for my schools new forest.
    Mama tells me we had monkeys back home
    in the hills of Laos.
    She gets tears on her cheeks
    and I pat them away
    I'll grow you some monkeys, Mama.
    Don't cry.
     

    Wings fast still
    Nine years old in Surrey

    I know this place
    so quiet
    I lie down on green moss
    so still
    the sun sees green into me
    through alder leaves
    so quiet
    the moss soaks through my dress
    soaks green into me
    so still
    hair across my eyes shines green into me
    so quiet
    Anna's hummingbird
    hovers above me
    wings fast still
    my green throat shines
    my long beak sips nectar
    from white honeysuckles.

     
     

    You can't buy me
    Thirteen years old in Bangkok

    I float here
           safe on the ceiling
        smelling blossoms like sweet orange spiders
               a scent piercing my brain
                                holding me happy happy
                                         up here
    away from him
                 down there.

    Sweet orange spiders
             flowers climbed on the vines in our forest
           all around my village
                                   far away from him
                                                      down there
                                                     I can't feel him
                                        I can't feel him

    Safe on the ceiling
                           I can't smell him
    Sweet orange spiders

    You can't buy me!
     

    The time before time
    Eighteen years old in Alexandra

    My brother was my hero,
    my champion, my chief.
    Nights he ran through the township
    organizing our bras
    setting the moment to toi toi
    to strike
    even to bomb.

    But then Tshemba our story teller,
    I loved his tales of the time before time,
    we suspected him.
    We thought he storied in Voerster Square
    police recorders catching every breath.

    My brother himself hung the tire
    'round Tshemba's neck
    lit the petrol.
    I was there
    I screamed, tuned to
    Tshemba's shriek of terror.

    I can't remember his stories
    his tales of the time before time.

    My brother
    he was my hero
    my champion
    my chief.

     

    Life for Life
     fifteen years old in Edmonds, Washington

    I watched
          with my Dad
       a film on the elephants
              and the poachers,
     killing them for their tusks.

    I cried, "I want to see them
           before they're all gone!"
      and my Dad said, yes.

    I came home
        knowing
      I'd give my life
           to save the elephants
    the tigers.

    Since then
        I've planted trees
                in South Africa . . .
      Vietnam.
    I'll give my life for life.
     

     

    Five-fold woodland star

    Put to sleep by terror
       a child is waking
       a child is calling
     waking to cooling bodies
      waking to blood
        waking to the wake of terror.
         He calls his mother and father
     lying dead and cut beside him
      his call rising to a piercing scream
    like a tiger in a Chinese cage
                    being cut alive
          for its healing parts.

    Sword fern and poison oak
     along this path I walk
       with Martha.

    Awakened to terror
     the child preserves himself
    holding this terror
      deeper than memory
    a shriek in his marrow
     a false knowledge of who he is
         or can ever be.
    The child maintains the Universe
     pivoting around this tiger's scream.

    Two kinds of Forget-me-nots by the path.
     They say this flower
           first sprouted
         from Mother Mary's tears.

    The child is alone
    more alone
         than a shocked and battered prisoner
    in solitary
    the shriek in his marrow
       veiled and veiling
    the Self of the Universe.

    False Solomon's Seal
    in bloom below the path.

     The child is a man
    burning like a Brazilian forest
        burning the lianas
     the orchids
         burning all that veils his self
                 his self
    deeper
        than the shriek in his marrow.

    Amazing Grace!

    The man who was a child
    put to sleep by terror
    the man who was a child
    waking and calling
    the man who was a child
    screaming like a tiger
    in a Chinese cage
    this man knows now
        he is the height of the blue sky
    reflecting from the still surface
          of the deepest sea.

    Oceanspray
    Star-flowers everywhere
        and five-fold Woodland Stars!

      May 3, 1998
     
     

    Collecting a life

    i  In Bogies Café

    Ten years to go, maybe fifteen?
    Sixty fourth birthday last week.
    Just went bankrupt,
    a small pop in the global bubble.
    Backyard is blooming,
    Poppies, Monkeyflowers, Lambs ears,
    Farewell to Spring.
    Me and the squirrels
    have planted enough trees there
    to make two or three forests.

    In 1961 I took a photo of a farm worker, one among thousands,
    a Japanese woman planting grapevines on the West Side,
    a pearl-gray sky shining upon her,
    home country straw hat and scarf bowed to her task.
    That picture is on the wall behind my computer
    where I answer e-mails from South Africa, Japan, Austria, Brazil . . .
    where I send a poem singing of the birds in our canyon,
    the plants and trees of this place.

    In 1989 I sent a poem protesting and grieving
    the slaughter in Tiananmen Square.
    A day later an online Finn nailed it to the door
    of the Chinese Consulate in Helsinki.

    In 1956 I married my Amazing Grace,
    in 1958 miraculous Martha joined us,
    in 1998 the marriage still gets better,
    our daughter is our deep friend.

    ii  On our deck

    Surrounded by two hundred or more native trees and plants --
    Pallid Manzanita, Leather Oak, Weeping Needle Pine, Silk tassel,
    Doug Fir, Red Bud, Big Leaf Maple, even a bonsai Redwood --
    I think 'Now's the time to find the school to plant a California forest.'
    Landlord came by this morning, may have to sell the house,
    can't afford to keep it. (This was his wife's childhood home.)
    We can't afford to move.

    Maybe its time to throw away a bunch of my life,
    the debris of visions and dreams that stayed immaterial
    except for the boxes and files full of dust --
    the ecology-based R & D action tank,
    the psychedelic run-amok amusement park,
    Viable Systems International! Global Advantage Corporation!

    But maybe there is no waste if all my unhatched visions
    are the compost for my three books in print,
    (fifty thousand diabetics learning to live well, from one)
    compost for the sustainable town business plan going out to investors,
    compost for the hundreds of poems moving through the internet.

    Back in the early sixties I taped the farm workers too,
    Grace working with me late into the night, editing and mixing voices,
    Martha asleep in Studio A with Hyskie Bear.
    We let them tell their own story through radio montages.
    "Sometimes you work a day. Sometimes you don't work nothin'.
    That's how we get our food. If you work a day you can get your money --
    a few cotton. If you chop beets sometimes you don't find any.
    If you don't find any you just come home and you don't get nothin."

    iii  Sipping from a crackleware cup of vodka, middle of the night

    In the 70s, early 80s, I was a transpersonal counselor
    til I worked myself out of a job giving my clients their own fishing poles.
    Hell, all I ever did was meditate with them anyway.

    About to take on hundred billion dollar megamergers
    just because life is so precious, life is so sweet
    we don't need to engineer it! Damned fools!

    In 1968 Grace gave me an astrological reading for my 34th birthday.
    Bill Farthing saw in my chart
    a cup turned on its side. "Watch out," he said,
    "Everything that flows into your life
    flows right back out. No seed held back
    for the next season."
    Thirty years later I've still not learned that lesson
    or is that turned cup simply the form of my life?
    Not one cent for retirement or even next months rent
    yet a Redwood I planted a year before he saw that cup
    is now sixty feet tall.
    Bill tends garden in a Tibetan monastery on the coast.

    This afternoon Martha and I planted Mimulus cardinalis,
    Scarlet Monkeyflowers, along Sausal Creek.
    A Girl Scout troop came along the trail above the banks
    and my daughter told them about these plants I'd grown
    and about stream restoration in the city.
    Some of them will come back to help.
    Martha will have her Masters next year,
    her thesis not some theoretical enquiry
    but a master plan for guiding Sausal Creek closer to its true form.

    I guess this is a poem without end, just like the cycle of water.

    June 1998
     

    The Banquet ---- a Sunday in Autumn

    Steel-cut oats with Monuka raisins and Moroccan apricots
    Golden Dragon oolong

    Bach cantatas, Ein'feste burg ist unser Gott
    Wie schön leuchet der Morgenstern
    Monserrat Figueres singing  a Sephardic song
    Por que llorax Blanca Niña

    Sunday's NY Times online describes the World Bank's Annual Meetings  as--
    "The banquet across the river from the burning village"
    The Chieftains in Galicia

    Toasted multigrain sourdough
    with extra sharp Canadian Cheddar and Stilton

    Madrone, Coffeeberry, Liveoaks, Bay Laurel
    at the interface with second-growth Redwoods
    The temperate air soft and hazy

    Scarlatti harpsichord sonatas magnified by Avison into Conceri Grossi
    The Brazilian brothers Assad with Scarlatti on enhanced guitars

    Calachortus, Brodeia, Tritilea, soap plant,
    brought out from their Summer drought

    Capellini, fresh tomato salsa, chicken sausage, fresh basil,
    steamed cauliflower with lime juice, chocolate mousse with apples

    Telemann trio sonatas
    Haydn's quartet op 77 #1
    Bartok's 6th quartet
    Handel's Crudele Tirrano Amor

    Atlanta takes the fourth game from the Padres after losing the first three
    Bare-staged Lear enunciated very poorly with great passion

    Alvaros Mutis' Maqroll, the Gaviero, crosses the barrens on muleback.
    In Linda Hogan's Mean Spirit
    John Stink's ghost wanders Indian Territory
    Eastern hunters shoot 327 eagles to be stuffed for collectors
    Belle Greycloud rages and weeps

    Kissing, caressing, and coming, the love of 42 years together

    Amber brandy and this list
    The banquet across the river from the burning village.

    October 1998
     

     I want to be there again

    I asked Sally "Do we need to work through despair?"
    speaking of Honduras
          where the waters of that abstraction
    "global climate change"
         washed away six thousand people
         twenty years of "development"
         Dole's and Chiquita's banana plantations.
         Two years of rain fell in four days.

    Honduras where those waters
    tore Louisa Isabel Arriola's son from her arms
    and swept her out to sea.
    Louisa lashed together a raft from roots,
        wept day and night for her drowned family
                pleaded with a duck
           "Little duck, send a message that I'm alive.
                      Take me to my people.
                               Take me to the shore.
                Why don't you take me
                     so that I can fly somewhere with you."

    Sally answered my question about despair
              "I lost my son, two years old.
                       That year was holy.
                   I lived in the spirit.
                         I want to be there again."

    November 10, 1998

    Louisa's words are from an AP story by Ken Guggenheim, datelined November 9, 1998
     
     

    Defy the dark view

    The dark view of man, easy to argue
    not just from the killings outside my door
    but from the will to kill
    I find within my gentle, tree-planting hands.

    So why do I defy this dark view,
    flaunt a vision of our nature
    where we invent gods
    from our true depths?
    Is that simply my sentimental invention?
    A psychedelic flashback?

    I heard a Black lawyer today
    who saved an innocent man
    from Alabama's death row.
    He spoke very fast,
    passionate for the holiness of each life
    even the lives of we who are guilty.

    There's a center in Denmark
    where those of us who tortured
    our fellow human beings
    can go to end our nightmares
    heal the rip we made in life's single web
    reinvent ourselves from our deepest nature.

    Is that why I defy the dark view?

    December 1, 1998
     

    Black Nativity

    From Gospel harmony,
    joy shouting,
    syncopated Silent Night
        to Amen, Amen, Amen,
    Allen Temple's Chantateer Choir,
     in African robes
          arms raised to heaven,
         they danced the Joy
    our Christmas cards can only say in glitter.

    I say they were dancing to His beat,
     swinging down the aisles
           to meet us in the lobby
       "Thank you for coming, Brother."
    "Thank you for being here, Sister."
        smiling the Joy of Christmas
                 being the Joy of Christmas.

    1998

    This was the17th annual performance by Oakland's Allen Temple Baptist Church of Langston Hughes' inspirational Black Nativity
     
     

    No line of sight!

    Vision has to be at least a cone,
    no, not even that
    but a sphere
    extending to that space far beyond
    our ordinary view.

    What a lie
    to look out straight ahead
    when the possible future
    is all around us
    though most improbable
    to our usual line of sight.

    This sphere
    of vision and compassion
    is the real world.

    How else can we survive
    the savagery
    of our laser cutting eyes.

    January 1999
     

    Crossing Currents
    "As tumbled over rim in roundy wells . . ."
            Gerard Manley-Hopkins

    Round river rocks
           striped with bands
        of sea-bottom sedimentation
                          grays and earth oranges
    vivid river wet rocks
             sedges prick up between them
          mist beads condense
                    at the tips
                                 focusing sunset's rays.

    A red dragon fly
                   hovers in last light
          just above
                            the river's crossing currents.

    March 16, 1999
     

    The Invisible Dynamic

    I can visit web sites in Belgrade
    as my "tax dollars at work"
    send tommyhawk missiles
    smashing into that city
    wiping out strategic
    vacuum cleaner factories.

    I can e-mail the web master
    say, "Hi Friend.
    Keep your head down.
    Cover your ass.
    I'm sorry
    I have not yet learned
    how to control our madmen.
    Good luck with yours!"

    April 2, 1999
     

    Easter 1999

    Every year at Easter I look out to see how I am enacting the Passion.
    This year what I see first is that I am bombing Yugoslavia and Iraq.
    I join streams of refugees crossing the borders into makeshift camps.
    I evacuate a hospital in the center of Belgrade
    as my cruise missiles enflame the neighboring
    Ministry of Interior command center

    Every year at Easter I look out to see signs of the rebirth of Spirit.
    In this light I offer a new poem, one reflecting my daughter's lifework —
    restoring ecosystems.

     
    The Earth as One's Very Self

    Martha walks down Palos Colorado Creek
    noting the Happy Woman ferns,
    Giant Trilliums, Solomon's Seals, and Fairies' Bells
    Rings of Redwoods where giants once stood.

    She touches the glaucous sheets
    where fern spores begin a new lifecycle
    with such an unfernlike phase.
    She looks up, hearing the call of a Hutton's Vireo
    the clack clack of a Ruby Crowned Kinglet.

    "That large patch of Ninebark up there —
    I've looked down on it from Sunset Trail.
    There's Big Leaf Maples along this side.
    I'm starting to see how it all knits together."

    Palos Colorado and Shepherd Creeks
    join in Sausal Creek
    running on through Fruitvale to the Bay.
    This is Martha's watershed.

    She knows its eco-history —
    how the Ohlone co-evolved with the land
    how the fires they set helped balance
    the forests, grasslands and chaparral.

    She knows the plants and creatures
    the patterns of each stream's course
    each site where the Pallid Manzanita grows,
    so rare, so precious!

    At the end of our walk
    we find a hillside of Checker Lilies,
    Fritillaria lanceolata
    a new addition to Martha's family.
    She does a dance cheering the discovery.

    What a gift!
    To know the flows of life
    through a few wrinkles of the Earth
    as one's very self.

    April 3, 1999

    e-nature

    I walk Amy down through Huckleberry
                        to Skyline trail
                                           then the switchback
               all the way to San Leandro Creek
    this by phone to her in Seattle.

    Don had e-mailed me
                  and a dozen others
         her quest for Mimulus cardinalis
                                     the monkey flower
           Martha and I found five years ago
                  on a flat by this creek.
        Through the net
                        we now know
                 a dozen sites
                       on both sides of the bay

    Amy's doctoral research
                 the adaptation of two species of Mimulus
            growing at different altitudes.
    I asked her how she chose
                  these California natives
        "Do you live here?"
                     "No, but my professor really loves them."

    Long before the world wide web
                      we spoke of the web of life.
           Now we've sprouted
                   this augmented nervous system
           (first funded by the war machine)
                   and we use it to link Amy
        to eco-systems along creeks
                where the plant her mentor loves
      blooms now in scarlet glory
                humming birds with pollen on their throats
       sipping its nectar.

    August 3, 1999

    p.s.
    http://www.csdl.tamu.edu/FLORA/mi10/mi10034.jpg
    http://www.csdl.tamu.edu/FLORA/mi10/mi10033.jpg
    http://eco.bio.lmu.edu/socal_Nat_Hist/plants/photos/large/mimu_ca.jpg
    http://www.nnlm.nlm.nih.gov/pnr/uwmhg/m-cardin.html
    http://www.coepark.parks.ca.gov/wildflowers/red/mimulus-cardinalis.html
    http://www.rainyside.com/natives/NativePlants/mimulus_cardinalis.html
     

    No instructions for this game

    For the Wedding Day of Ghette and Frankie

    At Christmas in 1997
    my Lady Grace
         asked for a computer game
                 named Myst.
    It was just like marriage—
                     beautiful images,
         lots of buttons to push,
                          but no instructions!

    What a wonderful trip of learning we had
                moving through the mysteries,
         the underground spaces,
                          the tracks and pathways,
              gazing at the stars and
                                pulling the levers
      to find out what would happen.

    Grace and I were married
                by a judge on his day off,
                      him wearing levis and tennis shoes,
        no cord and veil bearers in attendance,
           just us and our folks
                            looking out at the blue Pacific.

    That was 43 years ago
                 and we still go on learning this game,
          meeting each other in new ways,
                            in new places and
                spaces of love.

    We send magic and mystery to you,
           dear ones,
                  and the blessings of our years
       that keep getting better.

    Ernie Lowe, with Grace
     

    The shore

    Many waves of books
              have swept the shore of my mind
        poems of Hopkins, Li Ch'ing Chao, Neruda
                 stories of Borges, Calvino, and Yourcenar
                  novels of Mann, Durrell, Morrison and Fuentes
      Stafford's cybernetic visions and
                       Fuller's tensegrity
                                 holding images, ideals, and seeds
          in dynamic tension.

    The dancing words of whirling dervishes
             mostly silent roshis
                                  avatars and bodhisatvas
          the waves of their koans
                break the shape of the dunes in my mind
                                 all, making me a recognizable chaos
                    of responsiveness.

    Yesterday I repotted new bonsais
              a Sarawa cypress, two leptosporum
         and a golden larch.
                        They'll find their true form
                  when I am long dead.
     
    September 15, 1999

     

    Constructing Reality

    i

    I meet a tiger in the jungle of my mind
    (jungles were places colonialists pillaged).
    The jungle tiger eats me as game.
    I meet a tiger in the rain forest of Borneo,
    climb a liana into the tree tops.
    I hang with fruit bats,
    sleeping until the tiger moves on
    so bright in the rainforest of my mind.

    ii

    Pearl Harbor day and my computers aren’t Y2K ready.
    Yet I e-mailed tidings of joy around the planet
    The dawning of a new age at the top of a redwood named Luna
    in the shoes of Granny D walking across Ohio.
    I constructed electronic hope,
    desperately weaving a few straws into gold,
    carefully selecting them for alchemical elegance.

    Shiva is the stage and the scenery
    the actors and the audience
    the play and the playwright.
    Shiva Hum

    iii

    She walks along the trail to Limantour Spit
    along the base of Mount Vision
    rounds a bend
    and faces a cougar fifty feet away.
    She looks with wonder at the cougar
    the live oaks
    the manzanita
    wisps of fog from Drake’s Bay.
    The cat returns her look
    and walks on up the mountain.

    December 7, 1999
     

    This clear space

    Ten years ago I struggled to live in the clear space
                               between hope and despair.
               Chinese tanks
                      had crushed the Goddess of Freedom
                                          in Tiananmen Square.

    Now, just eleven days from the turning of the century,
                       a year short, actually,
              of the Pope’s new millennium,
                                      I am filled with hope,
                  growing feelings of hope
          that we are at a great divide.
                                      I fear I’ve lost that clear space
                    where true actions flow like water.

    But I’ve walked, at sunset and twilight,
                          the high desert land of San Cristóbal.
              I’ve watched Julia Butterfly climb down
          from the redwood she named Luna.
                          Only two years of her young life up there and
                    Maxxam bowed to her pure will.
       I’ve breathed the perfume of tear gas and pepper spray
                                                 on the streets of Seattle
               and I’ve gone home
                       to campuses and neighborhoods
           organizing around the world,
                      calling my brothers and sisters
        to the great task.

    I walk the skies
                           the waves
                                      the rivers and
                                    the fields.
                      I am the deserts and the forests.
                                         No need for hope or despair.
                              I am this world
                 this universe
        this clear space.

    December 20, 1999
     

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